"JUST LET IT GO"....The Most Important TIP You Can Ever get!

"JUST LET IT GO!""JUST LET IT GO"...The most important TIP you can ever get!

I can't explain why it works but "Just Let It Go" does have the recognition of being the one thing you can do in real estate to give yourself some control over a very difficult situation.

Just recently, I have had situations that were impossible to bring to fruition. These have prompted me to write this post---hoping that it would open a dialog between all of us here on ActiveRain....Just how do we deal with the impossible mission of these circumstances???

What I have found is: If you "JUST LET IT GO!" you will have the upper hand. Believe me, you will NOT lose real customers and clients; by letting go, you may even have a chance to convert the " disaster" to an actual sale---but you must, must, must learn to "JUST LET IT GO!"

I am speaking of the times we are confronted in this business with a situation where there is nothing that you can do to make deal happen or  to get a particular listing at the right price.


  • My office-mate has a new listing that is in a prime location and I had a call on one of my own listings and wanted to take the buyer to see this one as well.....No way would this agent open the house for me, nor would she let me show it without her.  I had driven my customer by it and she was dying to get in. I found out later that there was no reason the agent could not let me show the house except that she just didn't want to be bothered to open the house right then (it was a holiday morning). I never did get to show the buyer that house---she was working with other agents and when I tried to register her with the listing agent, I was told: "I never register the names of buyers on my listings"...she was obviously not going to protect me in this situation.  After an angry response at me for even asking,  I had to give up and "JUST LET IT GO!".
  • Another buyer was making the rounds of agents--insisting that she see each house with the listing agent, thinking that she was going to get a better deal that way. I explained how a co-broke worked and she said she knew. I even told her that she may not get to see "open" listings this way, since there is no listing agent per se'. No matter how I pressed her, she was not going to go to see other houses with me--even after I told her that as her "buyers" agent I was going to be able to work on her behalf as the listing agents may not. She was going to work with listing agents only, no matter what! I had to work very hard on that one to "JUST LET IT GO!".
  • Another agent who pitched a listing that I was pitching too, called me when she heard that the owner was talking to me as well. I told her that I did not give out information about my business and she had no right to try to interfere with my work in any way. She told me that she had to get that particular listing because she lived next door and she was the "expert" on that street! I declined to engage in any further conversations with her and hung up. Later I called the owner to give him the comps that he had asked me for and he told me that he had decided to go with another agent--when I asked who, he gave me the agents name. It was the agent who had called me and I asked him if he was the one who told her he was talking to me too...he said yes. I suggested to him that it was not fair that he told her he was talking to me. I told him that she had called me to try to intimidate me into giving up the pitch. It put me in an awkward position and I told him that I viewed that as "undermining" me and my ability to show him that I was the better qualified agent to handle his property. He was unmoved...I had to "JUST LET IT GO!" again!!!
  • Another incident occurred when I had taken a listing at a certain commission % and the agreement was signed at that amount. After I pulled a deal together, got an accepted offer with another agent bringing the buyer, it was going to contract and the seller told me he was not going to pay the agreed to amount because he did not like the price we got for him...I told the selling agent and she agreed to the "new" commission in spite of the fact there was a signed agreement at the original percentage...She was insistent that we take the lower commission! Two against one and I lost any persuasive effect I could bring to bear on the deal....I  had to "JUST LET IT GO!" AGAIN!

TUG OF WAR IS NOT FUN--JUST LET GO!!!These are just a few of the real experiences I have had where I HAD to let go of a buyer, a seller, a deal and even money that I needed very badly!

In certain instances, I learned that by letting a situation go--as in a tug of war--I was able to dis empower the other party and by doing that they were able to see from a very different vantage point...from the ground to which they fell. The situation suddenly changed and the deal came together! 

You can't always win so it is better if you can learn the clues that will give you the advantage and help you NOT waste your precious time!

After many years of experience, I have been able to identify the very first clues that come forth to let you know that you are getting nowhere with a buyer, a seller. or an agent.



  1. Lots of phone use and interruption while you are working with someone.
  2. Appointments not kept--late by more than 1 hour
  3. No reply to emails or phone calls
  4. Buyer working with many other agents
  5. Wants to buy at an unrealistic priced property in a prime area
  6. A seller who insists on an unrealistic price  for his/her property, knowing that it is too high
  7. An agent who will not allow showings on short notice, regardless, even when you have a well qualified buyer

Here again, these are variations on a theme for the "Clues", but you  get the idea.

A buyer who meets you an hour late and remains on their cell phone throughout the showings is likely to be a big waste of time---no way can you get the key points of the property across to the buyer; why? because they really have no interest anyway!! They are time-wasters of the first order!!

A listing agent who refuses to show a listing with short notice, will often be the sort that will not allow you to  show aLISTING AGREEMENTS CAN AND DO CHANGE WITH CERTAIN OWNERS house without them too. It does not matter if you have years of experience in the business; this kind of agent has promised a seller she will be the only one to attend all showings, just to get the listing---more often than not she is the one to sell the property too!

COMMISSIONS ARE ALWAYS NEGOTIABLE, at least that is what I was always taught...And you as an agent can say "no" to a certain request from a seller! In this market, you would think that the sellers are willing to  pay for the hard work and due dilligence that we do for them--NOT! In my experience, there are those sellers who can not get it into their heads that the real estate market has changed and that it is no longer to a sellers advantage to make unreasonable demands from agents or buyers---but they still do!!!

No one has ever bought a property when they have made a request for a price point in an area that commands a much higher one!---You can drive yourself crazy looking, but I have found that nothing you show them or tell them about is going to fill the bill.  They are not buyers so they have safely tucked themselves behind a price point that they have figured out will rarely be met! This kind of person has it firmly planted in their brain that they will eventually get the house of their dreams for 1/2 (or more) of what it is worth. They may not even be aware that they are engaged in this kind of subterfuge, but I am here to tell you they are!! They are NOT buyers--just dreamers! After so many years of working with buyers who do this, I can see them coming now and I will give them a day or two of my time just to confirm that they are this sort of "lookie loo" and then it is over: "JUST LET IT GO!" 

Sometimes it helps to just VENT about it all!!!

What are some of the situations where you have learned to "Just let it go!"








                                     **ALL INFORMATION AND CONTENT IN THIS BLOG IS ORIGINAL TO PAULA I. HATHAWAY.  The views expressed herein are my personal views and do not reflect the views of Douglas Elliman Real Estate


Paula I. Hathaway, Senior Broker Associate, Douglas Elliman Real Estate

Southamtpon Village Real Estate Specialist since 1995;  Also Specializes in North Sea, Noyac, Water Mill and Bridgehampton, New York

Diamond , Gold and Chairman's Circle Awards; Top Producer since 2005


Click here to see my Hampton's website to see all my listings; please email me or call me for all your real estate needs in Southampton, Bridgehampton and Watermill:



Comment balloon 33 commentsPaula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA • October 16 2011 06:33PM
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