I had an experience today that made me think, really think!

It was an experience that made me feel like I got an answer to a question I have been asking of late: "What can I do that will make me feel less anxious, less fearful of life in general?" I have been feeling at a loss recently as to what to do with the concerns that I have now.  

I just moved out of a house that is filled with mold and free-floating asbestos and have been in the process of healing---I still don't know  if I am going to be OK. This was a life altering experience and my head is filled with thoughts about how close I came to never finding out about the problems in the house. I was just getting sicker and sicker...kind of like the frog in the pot of water; slowly the heat was being turned up and I was boiling to death!!

I made the move to this new house about a month ago and the relief I feel is palpable--my health issues have all but disappeared too but I still have the anxiety that toxic mold can cause--it has not left yet.

When the following happened this morning, it was like an "AHA!"

I have a particular friend whom I will call Fred--He is about my age and he never ceases to amaze me with his new ideas and his perseverance in life.

Fred has had a few set-backs and he always manages to pull himself up by his boot straps and get going again without too much of a complaint--In fact his set-backs always seem to propel him into new ideas about how to make others lives a little easier. 

Today when he came by to see if I needed help with getting my firewood inside so I can use my fireplace in this terrible weather, I was really surprised! Fred has just been in the hospital for a very serious treatment for some form of cancer. Here he was, in my yard heading over to pick up the snow covered wood for me...

"Happy New Year Fred!" I yelled from my back door as he trudged through the snow drifts in my back yard. Happy New Year to you!" He yelled back over the growling of the wind. "I figured you might need some wood brought in..."

"Yes, Thanks" I yelled back and he trudged ahead to the fence row where the huge pile of wood has been made even higher with all the snow. He was pulling some contraption behind him that appeared to be a big square box of some sort--about 3 feet high and it had skids on it too so that it moved smoothly through the heavy snow.

I watched him as his bent figure cleared the snow away with his hands and as he pulled out log after log, dusted it off before he carefully laid each one in his newly devised sled. I could see that he had a saw in his hand and sure enough, he started to saw one of the bigger logs in half to fit it in the sled.

It took him about 30 minutes to get the right amount of wood in the sled and to head back toward the house. When he got close enough I could see he had a bandage on his one hand and his face was very drawn and thin now since I last saw him. It just snowed yesterday and we got 16" here in Southampton plus a very low 4 degree temperature this morning. The Hamptons is not used to this!!

"I think this is so nice of you to do this--on a day like today and after you just got out of the hospital!!" He stopped right at the steps and said "Well, you know I feel better when I can do something that is needed.. Not too much right now that anyone needs me for!"

"So that is why he is here!" I thought, "what a kind be thinking of what he can do to help others while he is so sick".

"Well, no one can tell me what to do to make myself get better so I figured it out myself: I just need to find a way to fill a need---someone else's need!" 

I thanked him for his kind help and brought some of the wood inside the back door to dry off---I watched him as he unloaded more of the wood--"Please take some of the logs for yourself,  Fred" I knew he had a stove that he could burn wood in. " I see you made your own sled! Must be nice to be so handy!" He looked at me and said in a very low voice "Thank you so much--that will help out a lot! I know the weather is not going to warm up for a while so this will be helpful!" then he stopped and looked down at the sled.

"You know, my Dad showed me how to make a sled when I was just a kid. It's really easy as long as you have old cabinets with drawers---Thats all I did--I took the biggest drawer in the old cabinet in my garage...put skids on it---used some wide electrical tape, the silver kind and I just stuck that to those skids, added a rope pull and there ya have it!--a good sled to carry a heavy load in deep snow!"

He smiled then, a big broad smile and then he said "You know what? I haven't felt so good in a long while... Really surprising how just doing something for someone that no one else can do helps to heal your mind and your body...." I watched him as he walked away in the deep snow, proudly pulling that makeshift sled and feeling like a million bucks doing it!

I am going to do that--I want to find something that I can do that no one else can do for others--and then I will do that, just to feel that feeling that Fred talked about! 

...A very nice way to start out the new year, don't you think?




                                     **ALL INFORMATION AND CONTENT IN THIS BLOG IS ORIGINAL TO PAULA I. HATHAWAY.  The views expressed herein are my personal views and do not reflect the views of Douglas Elliman Real Estate


Paula I. Hathaway, Senior Broker Associate, Douglas Elliman Real Estate

Southamtpon Village Real Estate Specialist since 1995;  Also Specializes in North Sea, Noyac, Water Mill and Bridgehampton, New York

Diamond , Gold and Chairman's Circle Awards; Top Producer since 2005


Click here to see my Hampton's website to see all my listings; please email me or call me for all your real estate needs in Southampton, Bridgehampton and Watermill:



Comment balloon 32 commentsPaula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA • January 06 2018 11:51PM
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